Monday, April 27, 2015

In Response.

This is a really hard post to write, but it is necessary to update you all on our journey. We've received so many messages from all of our many wonderful friends and family asking about our current situation, so I thought this would be an easy way to update you all.

As many of you know, two weeks ago we received good news in that the cancer was stable in the chest. Last week, in a routine MRI we found out that the cancer is progressing in the brain. Due to this, we will undergo a second round of whole brain radiation in the next two weeks with pinpoint radiation to the lesions that are growing. This should control them and stabilize the brain. In addition, we are looking into clinical trials for the next drug therapy that can help us manage the cancer both in the chest and break the blood-brain barrier. Specifically, there are two trials of drugs not yet FDA approved which are said to be excellent at getting into the brain -- even more so than the drug he is currently on. Thank you for your many prayers and messages of love and light. We need them as we begin this journey once again. The hope and prayer is that we will undergo new treatment and transition to a new drug which will have Jon feeling as good and healthy as he has been over the last year. Please know that I mean it when I say we couldn't do it without your love and support. Just a simple "like" on Facebook or word of encouragement helps us face such a challenge. I may not respond in a timely fashion, but know that it means the world to us. If you happen to see us in person, a big hug helps. Then, treat us like normal. Make us smile and laugh. Don't feel sorry for us, just be with us. That is the best medicine on how to deal with us dealing with this.

When you take everything into consideration, Jon continues to feel well and we are both handling this relatively well. Activities and creativity continue to keep our souls engaged. He is working on a few videos, as well as a feature screenplay titled "Cottonmouth" and it is so, so very good! I am in the final week of rehearsal for "Our Town" with the show going up this weekend. Any artistic act is a chance to get our minds off of the dreaded cancer and we soak up every minute of it. I am contemplating whether or not I can handle the rest of my quarter of school, but have not yet made a decision about whether or not to withdraw. I'm going to have to play that one by ear. I'm sure, either way, it will work out just fine.

Otherwise, Jon and I are just loving on each other and mostly succeeding at going about our lives as normal as possible. We have so much love and it only grows with each struggle we face. Life is too short, no matter what you are facing. At the end of "Our Town," my character Emily looks at the Stage Manager and asks, "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? Every, every minute?" I may not be a poet or a saint, but I have to say that yes. Emily, I do. It's hard to ever really grasp life, maybe because you cannot truly hold it in your arms. It is far too intangible. The moments cannot be held down or frozen, with ease and grace they slip through your fingers. But I do realize life. I realize how precious. How fleeting. How absolutely lovely it all is. And utterly bittersweet. Cancer is painful. But life and love are more powerful, beautiful, and infinitely glorious.

Grab someone you love and hug them tight tonight.


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