Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Super Man

It feels like it's been a while since I posted. I guess it hasn't, just so much has happened. I wrapped up classes in my second quarter of grad school. I'm busy rehearsing a play, rewriting my feature screenplay, and working on a new initiative to unite female filmmakers with the Atlanta Film Festival. I'm feeling blessed.

Cancer has not been a common topic in our household over the past few weeks and that is a wonderful thing, a true blessing. Jon continues on his current treatment and feels great. Right now, we're laying in bed catching up on Gotham after playing a few board games and watching Grease 2 (now on Netflix!) I'm on my spring break. We've gone for several walks (and even a run today)! It's funny, we talk about moving to the city in the future, but then go for a long walk in Serenbe, meet the latest batch of little piglets - I swear off bacon and we switch back to staying here a while longer. That's about the extent of our "future" talk now. Of course, we'd still like to have a family, have plans to produce two short films this summer, and I constantly worry about our next plan of action when it comes to treatment, but for now, we are doing our very best to be in the moment. Truly.

An unfortunate event did occur concerning Jon's insurance. Your outpouring of love made us feel so much better about this situation. Thank you for the support, advice, and words of encouragement you offered. We truly appreciate it. And need it. I feel like it will all be resolved soon. We appreciate your continued prayers on this and his treatment plan. I can already feel a slight anxiety with scans approaching in April.

One of my favorite photos - taken on the set of Picture Show

I feel like with each blog I write, I do my best to tell you how absolutely amazing my husband is, but words seem to always fall short. He is incredible. What he has endured is heartbreaking and totally unfair, but he has handled everything with so much grace, determination, and beauty. My husband - out of some bizarre unfathomable unfortunate turn of events - has stage iv lung cancer. But, he is not stage iv lung cancer. He is so much more. And our love story is so much more. He has smiled at me and offered me words of encouragement as he's been wheeled back for surgery. Weeks after facing whole brain radiation, he endured the Georgia heat to direct a movie - his lifelong passion. Then he rode half way across the country to teach filmmaking to a group of eager students. He has good days and then not so good days when he needs to take it easy, stay in bed and rest himself. He never complains. Never. Nurses go on and on about how he is the perfect patient. Even on the late shifts in the hospital, he would wake up to tell the nurses "thank you" for checking up on him - for doing their job! He is so very kind. If you don't know him well, you may think he is quiet and shy. He may not be saying much, but he is taking in every moment, every word you say. He remembers every little detail of our love story - specific dates, what I was wearing, what we had for dinner, etc. He is spiritual - on a level that I only aspire to. He is so very smart. He knows every movie ever made. He has read maybe thousands of books, if you count comic books and I do! He is just everything and everything to me.

What benefit do you get out of hearing me go on and on about how wonderful this man is? I don't entirely know. Chuckle. But what I hope to do, is to inspire you to see how wonderful your nearest and dearest are to you. Each day is a gift and cancer makes living raw, on the constant edge, and very, very scary. But it has also made me realize what is important and given me a new, wiser perspective on life. On being human. I hate to say it, but nowadays I laugh at the face of deadlines and every day stresses like taking out the garbage or who's gonna wash the dishes. Do not worry about such nonsense. Life is simple. Step One - Grab the person you love and give them a hug. Step Two - Never let go.

Nine years ago tonight (St. Patrick's Day), Jon and I were nestled into my dorm room - watching the movie Just Friends and eating leftover Chinese takeout from our favorite place around the corner. I had, stupidly, ventured out into the St. Patty's Day nightlife of Savannah. I don't remember much - and not because I was drunk. I do remember a man dressed up like Captain Morgan and I do remember seeing green beads fly through the air, oftentimes hitting me directly in the head. This was the last place on earth I belonged. Totally not my scene. I remember thinking the it was all very apocalyptic. People were acting like savages. Cars were overturned. I got lost from my group. Two men in a line for hot dogs and beer were scoping me out like I was some kind of prey. I called Jon. He ran from our dorms (on Oglethorpe St. for those who are familiar) all the way to River Street in record time! I remember him leaping over the little sailboat sandbox to my rescue. He saved me that night and he continues to save me from myself each and every day. That was also the first night he kissed me.

From our Anniversary Savannah trip 2015. It was so sunny, so the picture is dark. But this is Jon next to the sailboat! 

Not from St. Patty's Day, but just a few months earlier. Jon reminds me the night was January 30. We went on an adventure with our friends Doug and Andy (Natalie not pictured) to a Hilton Head beach at 1AM. We didn't get back until 6AM or later with classes the next morning. This was also the first time I'd ever really hung out with this gang. Needless to say, I had found "my people." 

Have a good week and please enjoy this beyond beautiful sunshine!


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